Friday, December 9, 2011

A Network of Moms

I am amazingly blessed with a fabulous support system of mommy friends. Equally amazing is the fact that many of these women were my friends before becoming my mommy friends. Which means we've grown up together, going from single women, to wives, to mothers at pretty much the same time.

There is my high school best friend, who is newly expecting (yay!). To me, you are a mother once you conceive, and I welcome her with open arms to this "club" of motherhood. I cannot wait for her to experience all the wonders that come with raising children, and to have someone else to commiserate with about all the tough times.

My best "met when we were grown-ups" friend has gone through both pregnancies with me. Her son is 6 weeks younger than Stephanie, and we struggled together to get pregnant with our first little blessings. My journey to pregnancy was much less traumatizing and emotional than hers, and when I got pregnant first, my joy was marred by sadness because she was not. When she announced 6 weeks later that her own little miracle was on it's way, I was able to really and truly embrace and enjoy my own pregnancy. Throughout the past two years we have emailed each other almost daily with our hopes, fears, triumphs, frustrations...every aspect of pregnancy and motherhood. We shared our second pregnancy together too, although she won't be welcoming her second little boy until April. I am eagerly looking forward to having her there to talk with about having two little ones under foot. I can honestly say that, without her, I don't think I would survive this journey with my sanity intact.

Another close friend recently became a first-time mom. I've known her for four years now, and I've watched her struggle at times to figure out what it is she wants from this world. We had a play date recently, and I was awed to see how much motherhood suits her. She has a contentment about her, a sense of "this is what I was meant to do." I can tell already that she is a great Mommy, and I am so happy that she has found her joy. Watching her interact with her little girl truly warms my heart.

I have a college friend, who actually started out as Dan's friend. When I met her, I was a freshman, and she was a senior. She was a confident, secure person, who seemed to have it all together. I was insecure, not quite comfortable in my own skin, and trying to impress my new boyfriend's friends. This meant that I was more than a little intimidated by her, and wished I could have some of her confidence. As the years went on, she continued to be someone that I admired, but wasn't necessarily close with. Then we became mommies at almost the same time, and bonded through this common link. Our little girls were born six weeks apart, and we compared notes, supported each other, and helped each other through those first few rough months of new-mommyhood. I eventually started nannying for her daughter, which meant she was the fellow mommy that I saw most regularly, and even though I no longer go to her house twice a week, she continues to be a source of support and friendship.

During my first pregnancy, my sister announced that she too was pregnant, and due before me. The whole family seemed to hold their breath waiting to see my reaction. (They were afraid I would think she was stepping on my toes, stealing my thunder, etc.) In fact, the complete opposite was true. I was THRILLED!  My sister and I have always been close, but going through pregnancy and motherhood together has bonded us in a way that is indescribable. Our daughters will grow up together, and we can already see that they are more like sisters than cousins. Watching them together often brings tears to my eyes as I imagine their future and all that it holds for them.

I also have a fairly new friend, who I first met when I was an early childhood teacher, and took care of her 3 month old son. We went through our second pregnancies together, and her second son is 2 weeks older than Joseph. We are both mommies of two, and will often facebook message each other in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning to check in and see how one another is doing and how the babies slept at night. It's fun to have someone experiencing the same thing at the same time, and we have fun chatting during playdates with our four little ones.

The internet is also a huge help and support to me as a mom. Facebook and Twitter have brought me together with so many women, who in an instant are there to offer support, advice, and a shoulder to cry on. Most of them are people I have known at one time or another throughout my life. Friends from high school and college, or friends of friends. I don't see them regularly anymore, if at all, but they are invaluable to me. All it takes is a tweet or a FB status, and I can receive feedback that helps me to feel less alone. Blogs and bloggers have the same effect. There are fantastic women out there who put their thoughts and fears out in the world, and several have become online friends who never fail to uplift me either through their blogs, or by direct interaction through social media.

I cannot stress enough the importance of this network of women in my life. They inspire, comfort, assist, commiserate with and uplift me. They also give me the nudge (or sometimes swift kick) that I need to either get something done, get over something, or stop complaining about something. If you're a new mom who is struggling or feeling alone, I strongly encourage you to find your own network of moms. Nobody knows what you're experiencing except someone who is going through it at the same time. Thank you to all my mommy friends. I truly cannot tell you how important you all are to me!


  1. Awww, Megan, this post made me tear up. I don't have very many Mommy friends. I'm surrounded by amazing friends who can't quite understand what I go through on a daily basis. So, you have been such a blessing to me these past couple years. To have someone who understands, doesn't judge, doesn't think I'm a complete failure, & who loves being a Mommy (& my daughter) has meant more to me than you can ever know. You've been more support than you can understand. I feel so blessed that my daughter has such an amazing little girl to grow up with & that I have found such a dear dear Mommy friend in my daughter's best friend's mommy :)

  2. Thank you for your comment Julie! I appreciate it, and as I said in the're a blessing to me, and I love our friendship and our daughters' friendship so much!


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