One of the things I hear from a lot of people is how lucky I am to be able to stay home and raise my children. Some people say it because they're envious of my job, some say it because they belittle my job, and others say it just to have something to say. No matter the reason, it's one of those phrases that rubs me the wrong way. Let me explain.
I consider myself very blessed to be a stay-at-home mom. But to say i'm lucky implies that the job fell in my lap without any thought or planning on my part. In fact, the opposite is true.
As I mentioned here, I've always known I wanted to stay home and raise my kids. It has always been something I valued, and when I met Dan, I discovered that it was important to him, too. Since we both felt the same way, we started working hard even before starting our family to ensure that we would be able to achieve this dream of ours. When we both had full-time jobs, we scrimped and saved so that we would have extra money for when I became pregnant and stopped working. Living this way has become a habit for us, and so being frugal isn't even something we really think about that much. We do our best to save money wherever possible, while still enjoying life and not giving up the things that are important to us.
Dan's job has always provided us with a place to live, and while it's not ideal, it's a sacrifice we've chosen to make so that we can afford to uphold our lifestyle with only one income. He also works long, unpredictable hours, which can get annoying and frustrating. But we put up with it, and work through it, because it's what we have to do. And so far, our hard work is paying off perfectly. I love staying home and raising our children, and Dan loves that he is able to provide for our family and enable us to live our dream.
I know most people don't mean anything when they say we're lucky. They're using it as another word for blessed, which we most definitely are. But I can't help wanting to explain to people that hey, we work very hard for this life we live! It isn't always easy, and sometimes it isn't fun and sometimes we struggle. But we make it work because it's what we feel is best for our family.
Are there any things that people say (probably harmlessly) that just rub you the wrong way? Please share!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
8 comments:
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Yup, luck would be if you won the lottery and that's why you got to stay home! I agree, I'm blessed to be home but we work hard and sacrifice a lot to be able to do so.
ReplyDeleteExactly!!! Glad someone understands me so well :)
DeleteYes, I've been told that, too. In between the "when are you going back to work?" questions. I am lucky to be at home. But, you're right: we worked for it. No extras. No Disney. No lavish vacations. Nothing fancy.
ReplyDeleteUgh, the "when are you going back to work?" is annoying. I always say "I work 24/7 at my job now."
DeleteMom was a stay-at-home mother. Motherhood is a 24/7 job without retirement no matter how you look at it. Speaking as a product of that kind of household though, I feel incredibly lucky that I was born into that environment, and I still appreciate the sacrifices that my parents made for my brother and me. And my mom would say the same thing that you've said in your post. It's not luck, it's hard work.
ReplyDeleteI'm always glad to hear that people are appreciative of their moms who chose to stay home. I hope my little ones feel the same way someday. Thanks for commenting :)
DeleteI have had a few SAHM friends tell me that I'm "lucky" to get a "break" every day that I come to the office. There are so many things wrong with that statement and I won't rant in your comments, but it makes me crazy for several reasons. ;)
ReplyDeleteI do say back to them that they are "lucky" to be SAHMs, because I wish I were! We didn't plan for that because it isn't something I wanted. But now when I leave my little man, I wish every day that I were staying home with him. I fully admit that saying SAHMs are "lucky" slightly comes from a place of being a bit jealous. It definitely isn't from a place of belittling or thinking it is easier than my job though.
The job of a mom is hard, no matter where we work. And really, I guess we are all lucky because we all have such awesome kids (I assume, anyway). ;)
I agree with you, being a mom is hard no matter what! I'm glad to hear you can relate. When it comes right down to it we are, put plain and simply, MOMs, regardless of whether we have outside the home jobs or not.And you're right...we're very lucky to have such awesome kids :)
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