Friday, July 13, 2012

Baby Maya

For all intents and purposes, it wasn't my loss. I didn't carry the beautiful little angel for 8 months, I didn't painstakingly prepare a gorgeous nursery, I didn't deliver her and hear the horrible, devasting, life-changing news that she wouldn't make it. I can't even begin to imagine or try to put into words what that experience must have been like.

But I do know how much I loved that precious angel. How much I dreamed about her playing together with my children, growing up as cousins. Because even though her mommy isn't technically my sister, she is. We grew up together, we've been best friends for over 12 years. Maya was my niece. 

And so I grieve. I grieve for the loss of this precious life, ripped too soon from our world. And I grieve for my friend. Seeing her pain causes me pain. Watching this woman that I love so much experience such a great devastation causes actual physical pain. My heart aches for her, and I feel powerless to help. All I want to do is wipe all of the heartache away, but I know that isn't possible.

All I can do is sit there with her. Talk with her. Listen to her. Cry with her. Laugh with her. Hug her tight.

She's so strong, and I am in awe of the way she's handled her grief. The way she can get through each day, and begin the next. How she can look ahead to a brighter future and know that, while she will always remember and love her angel baby, life will go on. She will go on. She will live on.

In three days, it will have been one month since Maya died. I ask all of you, my readers, to continue to send your good thoughts, well wishes and prayers to my dear friend, her husband, and their little angel. And if you have kids of your own, give them an extra tight squeeze. Play with them a little more, listen to them for a few extra minutes. Read one more story, kiss them one more time. Tell them how much you love them, over and over again. Life is precious, and the children in our lives are little miracles that we should never take for granted. 


  1. Great post Megan! I know first hand how hard this is. My best friend's sister had the exact same thing happen to her at 39 weeks. It's awful. So hard to even know what to say or do. Just be there for them I guess. In any case, so sorry for your pain and your friend and your family. My thoughts are with you all.

  2. I'm no where near as close to A as you are and yet the loss of baby Maya has been devastating. My heart aches for all 3 of them. Baby Maya may have only been on this earth for a few short hours but she touched so many lives. And what a beautiful gift she was for those of us left behind. I know that I've been so grateful for my little one even more because of the loss of her. This is a beautiful post and A & H are so very lucky to have you in their lives as they go through this <3

  3. I am so sorry Megan! This is truly awful! I can't even imagine. I am so sorry for you and your friends pain. My thoughts are with you. xoxo

  4. I cannot imagine the pain that your friend and her husband are going through, and it amazes me how strong people are through their sadness. You are all in my thoughts through this sad time! xo

  5. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, your sister, and her family.

    Sarah & Katey

  6. I am so sorry for all of your loss. I can't imagine the pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  7. You have a gift for writing. What you expressed about how you're feeling is how I've felt for over a year now at the loss of my nephew. I can completely understand what you're going through and my heart is broken for everyone who is going through all of this. No one should ever lose a child...there is nothing that will fix the pain, not even having answers. Time heals a lot...not everything but some days are good, some are not. A and H are in my prayers every day and you are too. I am sending so much love to you and them every day and I wish I could give you all hugs.


  8. My heart aches for all of you. This post is a true testament to the love you have for your sister-friend. I will continue to pray for all of you and I will keep Maya in my heart!

  9. This was a beautiful post, Megan. My eyes filled with tears as I read. God Bless baby Maya and everyone who loved her.

  10. I have thought about your friends so many times after hearing the heartbreaking, worse than heartbreaking, news. I've had friends who have gone through similar situations and it's impossible to understand the pain they are going through. It's important for them to know they are in many peoples thoughts, and often. Hugs to you, you're a wonderful person and a great friend. Lots of love to your friends. Rest well, baby Maya.


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