If you take your kids dress shopping...

I don't think I've mentioned it on here yet, but I'm going to BlogHer12 in NYC in less than two weeks! I couldn't be more thrilled for such an exciting opportunity to network, learn, and, ok, have a LOT of fun. I'm heading down with a group of my local blog friends, and rooming with two of them. (I think the road trip will be one of the best parts of the conference!) Since I've been steadily losing weight, and the conference is a week and a half away, I decided it was time to go dress shopping.

I'm happy to report that today I happened to find two dresses at Target that I love and that fit great. But it was quite an arduous process to get there. Starting with last week's trip to Marshalls. I thought for some reason that it would be a good idea to bring the children with me. HAHAHA.

If you bring your kids with you to Marshall's to dress shop, here is what could happen:

-Your 2 year old daughter might use the pile of dresses you're collecting in the shopping cart as a comfortable place to lie down. Which might pull them all off their hangers so you have no idea how many you have. It also might bunch them up and cause them to wrinkle.

-The same daughter might ask you 500 times what you're doing, why you're doing it, and when can she hold another dress.

-When you get to the dressing room, the attendant might not like it that you hold out a pile of bunched up dresses to show how many you're taking in.

-The same attendant might also direct you to a family-sized dressing room in the men's fitting section. Which is fine, since there are no men around, and it's away from anyone else trying anything on.

-The attendant may fail to mention that there is a huge rack of clothing blocking the way. She might give you the hairy eyeball as she watches you struggle to move it, while simultaneously pulling the shopping wagon and instructing your children to put their hands and heads in the cart! (For the 15th time.) (Oh, but don't think she'll actually help you. That would be silly.)

-Once you're safely inside the fitting room, your daughter might demand to be let out, climb onto the bench and jump off onto the hard floor. She might narrowly avoid slamming her head onto said floor.

-She might also take all the clothes you just stripped off and smear them around on the piles of dust in the corner of the dressing room floor.

-As you throw the dresses on, decide they don't look right, and toss them off again, you might slowly start to feel like you will never find anything that fits or looks nice. You probably won't have a lot of time to dwell on that though, because your daughter might slam the shopping cart, with her baby brother inside of it, into the glass mirror on the wall. You might hold your breath as you wait to see whether the mirror cracked. (Miraculously, it probably won't.)

-As you put your own (filthy from the floor) clothes back on, your daughter might throw a temper tantrum because she is having so much fun in the fitting room that she doesn't want to leave. Since it's a large, mostly empty room, her screams will echo loudly, which might cause your uber-sensitive baby to start crying.

-You might feel the start of a headache coming on.

-You might un-ceremoniously toss your daughter into the cart, and leave the room. Where you might be met with the same rack of clothing. You will probably say a lot of bad words in your head as you struggle to move it again.

-The delightful attendant might sigh loudly as you hand over the dresses (which you've put back on their hangers.) She might also demand you give her back the "number of clothes I took in" ticket. When you explain that she never gave you one, she might glare at you like you're some kind of ticket thief (because who wouldn't want a souvenir from their shopping trip?), sigh loudly again, and huff off in the opposite direction.

-You might make it out of the store in one piece.

-You will probably need a large glass of wine that night.

-You most likely will laugh as you look back on the day and think "well, at least it's a topic for a blog post!"

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