Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A Letter to Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,
          You are 19 months old, and in less than two weeks you will become a big sister. Before that happens, I wanted to write down how much you mean to me, and how very, very much I love you.
          You were such an awaited and beloved miracle, before you were even conceived. Daddy and I hoped and prayed for you, and when we finally found out that you were growing in my belly, we were overjoyed. I spent nine months dreaming of you, and imagining what you would look like and the kind of person you would be. However, nothing in my wildest imaginings could have prepared me for the smart, beautiful, amazing little girl that you turned out to be.
          When they first handed you to me, I found out what love really feels like. I was filled with an overwhelming feeling that is just impossible to describe. I never thought I could love you more than I did at that very moment, but then every day I started to love you more and more. How that was possible, I have no idea. When you first smiled, first laughed, first crawled, and first walked, I felt my heart expand. You slowly went from an adorable baby to a laughing, running, talking toddler. The days and weeks flew by, and although there were tiring times, I relished every single moment with you.
             You are one of my absolute favorite people to spend time with, because you never fail to make me laugh. You love to tickle me, and everything around you. You get such joy out the simple things in life, such as airplanes, trains, people, volleyball players, the ding-dong (hourly clock chime), happys (candles), lights, your friends, Daddy coming home from work, flowers, bees, squirrels, and the list goes on. You have taught me to slow down and appreciate these things as well.
              The day you repeated "I love you" to me was one of my proudest mommy moments. Then came the day when you said it first, un-prompted. You love so whole-heartedly, and are always there to give a kiss or a hug, or a "Bless You" when I sneeze. You love to help me clean up your toys and set the table, and you always put your own clothes in the hamper and dishes in the sink. Watching this independent quality that you possess fills me with pride.
              You are always so active and lively, but at nap and night time you just want to curl up in my lap and rocky-rock. Those are the best moments of my day. I cuddle you close, breathe in your baby smell, and listen to your heart beating against mine. There is nothing more sacred or precious to me than those moments with my little girl.
                Pretty soon you will have to share your mommy with your little brother. It's going to be new, and different. But I will always love you, more than you'll ever know. You'll always be my first baby, and that is something unique and special that you and I will always share. My love for you will not have to be split between both you and Joseph, because a Mother's love has no limit. It will grow and grow to encompass all my children. I will always be here for you, to rock, and cuddle, and play, and laugh. Even though I will be in the hospital for a few days, I will be thinking of you constantly, and counting down the minutes until I get to come home to you.
                 You are such a loving and sweet little girl, and I know you will be a fabulous big sister. I can't wait to start this new chapter of our lives. Above all, my sweet girl, I want you to know that I will love you always and forever, and nothing can ever change that.

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