Monday, November 14, 2011

1 Month

Dear Baby Joseph,
Yesterday you turned 1 month old. When I realized what day it was, I literally stopped in my tracks and took a minute to stare at you. 1 month already?? How did that happen? I feel like just yesterday you were still in my belly and seemed so cozy and content in there that I felt for sure you would never make your grand debut. But now a full month has gone by, and while I can't even remember what life was like without you, i'm in awe and wonderment at where the time has gone.

In such a short span of time, you have come so far, and we have made so many amazing memories. You're awake and alert so much more now, and you seem to be aware of the difference between night and day. You don't sleep through the night, but we've pretty much gotten your feedings down to only twice...1am and 4am. Which isn't too bad. I secretly love those quiet feeding times in the middle of the night, when your sister isn't jumping around and yelling at me to get her milk or a snack, and trying to climb into the rocker to rock with us while you eat. It's just you, me, and an episode of Friends on TV. Usually your eyes are closed the whole time, and you just drink, burp, and go right back to sleep. Those times are so precious to me, because I know how quickly they will be gone.

You also recently started putting yourself to sleep at bedtime, without needing to be rocked. After your 8pm bottle, we cuddle for a few minutes, and when you start to seem drowsy, I put you in your bassinet and you drift off to dreamland all by yourself. You might not understand this, but let me tell you...that ability is HUGE! It took forever for us to get Stephanie to fall asleep on her own, mostly because we would just rock and rock her, well past the point where she was in a deep sleep. After a while, she came to expect that she needed to rock in order to fall asleep. And as much as I adore rocking and cuddling with you, I know it's in your  best interest to start this process early, and so far it seems to be working. (Although last night, you fell asleep halfway through your 8:00 bottle, and were sound asleep when I put you in the bassinet. But, I guess every night can't be perfect, and you ended up sleeping until 2am this morning!)

Some of my favorite times with you are when I put you on my bed to stretch out, and you stare up at me with those wide, blue eyes and make your little owl face. You are so intent on staring at my face, it's as if you're memorizing every piece of it. I know what that's like, because i'm doing the same thing as I stare at you.

You also smiled at me for the first time last week. I was chatting away to you as you stared at me, and out of nowhere this tiny, fleeting grin flashed across your face. It filled my heart with such love and adoration, and brought tears to my eyes. Your first precious smile, and you gave it to me, your Mommy. I can't tell you how  loved that made me feel. Because I know you do love me, so much. When you're crying, all I have to do is pick you up, and you snuggle right into my neck and immediately settle down. And for all the love that you have for me, I have a million times that for you. Every single day I love you more, even when I think it's impossible that I could. You light up my life, and always make me smile. This past month has been so wonderful, and I know that as each month continues to pass and you continue to grow and develop, it will get even better. I can't wait to see what memories we make this month.

Always remember that no matter where you are, or what you're doing, I will be somewhere loving you with all my heart and soul. You are the most amazing baby boy, and I will never fully be able to express to you the joy that you have brought to my life. I love you a million billion!

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