Sunday, July 31, 2011

Technology Accomplishment!

This morning I decided that I needed to change the primary email address on this blog. The one I had been using was an old email, that I had used before I got married. I never use it for email, so I figured it was time to get rid of it.

I asked my husband how to do it, since this is a google blog, and he's a self-proclaimed google expert. Of course, he doesn't use blogger, so couldn't help me. He first told me to switch over other things (calendar, transfer emails, etc.) but I kept getting frustrated because I wanted to work on the blog! After quite a lot of (friendly? tense? annoyed?) back and forth conversation, I just told him i'd do it myself. I was bit huffy. But hey. I'm pregnant. (Seriously...there are only 10 weeks left to use that excuse. I'm milking it for all it's worth!)

I kept clicking and reading different how-tos on google, and finally stumbled across how to do it. After about 15 minutes (because I have no sense of how to use technology, and stumble through anything related to computers), I finally figured it out! I was so proud of myself that I had to share this accomplishment with all of you :)

Of course, what I really had to do was change the primary owner over to my new email address, and then delete the old one. In the process, my picture, profile, and "about me" disappeared. I did my best to get it all back up and running, but if you happen to notice any differences you'll know why.

I wonder if it's normal to feel such a sense of pride over such a small thing? Oh well, I don't care, i'm still happy that I did it all by myself :)

In other news, we're going camping this afternoon. (Well, fake camping. My parents have a campsite about half an hour from us. We're going to spend this afternoon up there, but come home to sleep. For the next week we'll go up every morning at 8, and stay untill bedtime. I need to sleep in my own bed.) I'm excited to see how much my outdoors loving toddler enjoys the camping experience, and i'll definitely be blogging about it!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Coffee Please

My daughter recognizes the Dunkin Donuts sign. I find this highly amusing. (My husband, the non-coffee drinker, not so much.) Every time she sees a DD cup, or sign, or store, she yells out HOT! Because she knows it's where mommy gets her coffee, and she knows that coffee is hot.

Of course, since it's summer i've been getting iced coffee. When we pull away from the drive-through, she says "hot, hot, hot." I correct her by attempting to explain that while yes, it is coffee, it's iced coffee which means it's cold. She then says "cooooooooohd." This is a conversation we've had every single time we've been to DD this summer. I find the monotony of it comforting.

Often if we go into the store to get my coffee, i'll let her get a munchkin. (Or two. I'm not against junk food once in a while. It makes it a special treat.) Luckily we havn't yet reached the stage where she asks (demands) for one every time we go. I know those days are around the corner though.

I think the point of this blog entry was to muse about the fact that children are so young when they start to associate the things they see with words and phrases. She has made the connection in her mind that the DD sign means coffee. She also knows that most of the time coffee is hot. A fact that she learned because of me obsessively shouting "hot!" if she got within ten feet of my coffee mug at home.

I find all of these connections so amazing, and it makes me stop and think "Wow. She is a little person, with a real live working brain." Obviously i've always known this, but I still marvel over it. And hey, if she has to recognize a brand, i'm much happier that she knows what Dunkin Donuts is as oppsed to say McDonalds or Burger King. Both of which are places we never ever go. It's not that i'm necessarily opposed to fast food, it's just that i'd rather choose a healthier option for myself and my family. And if i'm not in the mood to cook, i'm going for pizza over fast food burgers anyday.

Anyway, as I end this post, I find myself realllllly wanting a coffee. And in case anyone is dying to know my go-to coffee order, it's a medium decaf caramel swirl iced, skim milk only.(Medium hot hazelnut, skim only, if it's fall or winter.)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Long Day

Tonight I need to complain. We spent the entire day listening to Stephanie whine and cry. I tried so hard to justify it by telling myself that she's still recovering from her virus, and she just came off of a very busy few days. But honestly, there was a point where I just was done. I couldn't take it anymore, was at my wits end, and really really wanted a glass of wine. (Of course I didn't have one. But the temptation was there!)

It seems like lately everything with her is a battle. Brushing her teeth elicits a tantrum like no other. Time to eat? Nope, she wants to throw her food at us. (And she used to be the kid that would eat anything and everything, and in huge quantities.) If I try to force bites into her mouth, she clenches her lips together and shakes her head no. This doesn't happen all the time, but usually at least one meal a day is a struggle. Today was every meal, including snacks. She has no interest in the twelve billion toys she has, unless I sit right down with her and play. Today, even that wouldn't work. Luckily she took a 3 hour nap, which enabled me to relax and have a snickers bar. I definitely needed chocolate.

I know this is a phase, and that today was an extreme example of the toddler control issues she has going on. I know that it will pass, that she will get over it, and we'll forget how horrendous it was. She's being a 17 month old, and the most important thing is for us to keep our cool and not let her think she has the upper hand. All of this logic is so easy to say and to comprehend, but not so easy to put into practice. At one point this afternoon I finally just put her in her crib and told her to take a few minutes to herself and calm down. It also gave Dan and I a chance to breathe and regroup, and calm ourselves down. The crib time didn't actually change her behavior, but those few minutes away from her made it possible for me to make it through the rest of the evening. This included bathtime, where she cried every time I attempted to wash her, and milk time, which was an epic battle that ended with me telling her that if she threw her sippy cup one more time, she wasn't getting it back. There's a half-full sippy cup in our fridge right now, because of course she threw it again.

Right now she's sleeping soundly, and i'm praying that she won't wake up starving at 2am, since she only took about 5 bites of dinner. I'm also working hard to convince myself that tomorrow will be infinitely better, and she will be an angel of a toddler. The power of positive thinking, right?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Family Time

We just ended a fun-filled weekend with family in town from New York. (Oh, and I do realize that it's still the weekend...but all the fun started on Thursday for us, and is pretty much over now. I'm considering tomorrow just a day to rest and catch up on my poor, neglected housework.) Dan's Mom and her husband arrived Thursday afternoon, and took us out to dinner. Stephanie was still under the weather, but she had a lot of fun with her Grandma and Grandpa. We went to a delicious restaurant down by the water, which happily brought the temperature down a little. (We've been in the middle of a horrendous heat-wave!)

Yesterday we took our little one to the Dr to check on her fever, which luckily is nothing more than a summer virus. Then, last night we went to a wedding for Dan's cousin, which was the reason all the relatives were in town. It was beautiful, but HOT! We were all dripping sweat, but still managed to have a fun time, and the bride and groom were dazzling and happy. Stephanie was dancing up a storm, and seemed to revel in the attention she was getting from everyone. They were all excited to see her, especially since it was a rare opportunity to spend time with Dan's family here in our neck of the woods. Typically if we see them at family occasions we are the ones who have to travel.

This morning we went out for a late breakfast with my MIL, and took a trip to Babies R Us so she could spoil our children. Then they came back to our apartment to spend some time before they headed home. I was happy that Stephanie was able to get some bonding time in with her Grandma, since they don't get to spend much time together. My parents see her at least once a week, and I know it's hard for Dan's mom to know that she doesn't have that opportunity. But, it just makes the time that they do get to spend together that much more special.

In baby Joseph news, I hit 29 weeks today. When I was 29 weeks along with Stephanie, I had my baby shower, and remember feeling that there was still so much time left before she would arrive. Right now all I can think of it "11 weeks? That's it??" There's still so much to do, but oddly enough i'm not stressing out about it. Which is VERY rare for me. However, somehow I seem to feel that it will all get done when it gets done, and I know things will be ready for him when he arrives. (As long as he doesn't show up too early!)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Sickish toddler, but with a silver lining

Yesterday my little one woke up from her nap burning up. She was cranky, clingy, and whiny. She gobbled up a snack, did some coloring, but refused to play on her own or have anything to drink. I took her temp, and sure enough, it was 100.4. Not terribly high, so I held off on the tylenol, but still high enough to make her pretty miserable.

There really is nothing more sad/pathetic than a sick little kid. They have no idea why they feel so icky, they can't completely communicate how they feel, and they just have no idea what to do with themselves. Luckily, we had just gotten a new Baby Einstein DVD from the library, so she sat on my lap for the entire 30 minute show, cuddling and rocking in the glider. This is the silver lining, people. My active toddler never sits still, never wants to cuddle, and is always on the go. Obviously I hated that she didn't feel good, but I relished all of that rare cuddle time. Then, when her Daddy came home from work (he returned from Ohio Monday night, so we hadn't really seen too much of him yet) she just wanted Mommy. I have to say, that also felt nice. To know that she needs my comfort when she doesn't feel well is such a great feeling. Makes me feel like i'm doing something right.

Dan was awesome and cooked dinner for us (it only require boiling some whole grain pasta and heating up pre-made sauce, but still), and she actually ate more than I expected. I was still having trouble getting liquids in her, which alwyas makes me nervou. She even refused her milk, and as soon as she finished eating she begged to go to bed. I put her in her jammies, finally gave her some tylenol, and let her go to sleep. I checked on her an hour or so later, and the fever had broken, thank goodness. Then at 3 in the morning she woke up calling for water, and proceeded to down an entire sippy cup of it. I gave her another dose of tylenol, since she was burning up again, and then we rocked for a little while. I just love those times, when it's quiet and peaceful, and she just melts into me, with her head on my shoulder. I wish she would do that when she was healhty!

Luckily she seems so much better today. I have no idea what this was, either a quick moving virus, or somehow related to this intense heat wave we've been having. Either way, i'm happy to report that she's definitely on the road to recovery.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Solo Parenting Exhausts Me!

Dan flew to Ohio early Friday morning for a wedding, and isn't returning until Monday. In order to prepare myself for a weekend of solo parenting, we had a grown-ups only day on Thursday. After I did my glucose test (yes, I finally did it!), we headed out to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, saw a late matinee screening of Pirates of the Caribbean 4, and then checked into a hotel for the night. (It was right across from the airport, enabling him to take the shuttle over, which eliminated the need for us all to get up super early and drive him there.) It was so nice to have all that alone time with my husband. Especially with another little one on the way, I know those times are limited and rare, and we wanted to make the most of it. It was very relaxing, and felt like such a luxury. Even more luxurious was the fact that I then went to Target and Gymboree Friday morning ALL BY MYSELF! No toddler yelling and crying and fussing because she didn't want to be in her stroller. Amazing!

I picked Stephanie up from my mom's around noon on Friday, and brought her home for a nap. She woke up cranky, and proceeded to be cranky all afternoon. After dinner (frozen pizza, because why would I spend all that time cooking just for the two of us?), we went outside to try and eliminate the crankys. I blew bubbles for her, and she spent 20 minutes chasing them all over the front yard. It was that time of day where the sun is setting, and the humidity has worn off a little, and she just had the best time. I felt relaxed and happy too. Well, until it was time to come inside for a bath, which started a full-on screaming temper tantrum. But then she went right to bed, and I felt like, ok, I can handle this!

Then Saturday morning happened. She must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, because from the minute she woke up she screamed and cried. She followed me around, and no amount of cajoling, comforting, feeding, etc, would get her to calm down. Finally I resorted to Baby Einstein, which afforded me a half hour of calm. (Also let me know that nothing was really wrong with her, since she was able to settle down to watch it.) But then the crying started up again. I think that she just knows something isn't normal, she's missing her Daddy, and we've been running here there and everywhere. She's a routine girl, and to disrupt her routine is just asking for trouble.

We ended up video chatting with Dan on the computer for an hour and a half, which made her happy. Then we ran some errands, came home for a nap, and spent the evening at the beach with my family. Today I had a coffee date with some friends, so my mom stayed with her for a few hours. (It's been amazing to have all this help, and i'm so grateful to my family for being there to pull some babysittting duty. I don't think I would have made it this far without them!) Now she's napping, and I'm exhausted so I might put off the cleaning that needs to get done and take a little rest myself. This parenting solo thing is hard, especially being seven months pregnant. I really admire the people who have to do it all the time, and am so grateful that, for the most part, my husband is around in the mornings and evenings to help out with the care of our little one.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Bad Mommy...

As I've written before, I've spent much of this pregnancy with a "been there, done that" kind of attitude. I've found myself forgetting for a moment that i'm pregnant, and i'm often so busy chasing after my busy toddler that I ignore my body's signals to slow down. I feel like all of that is just par for the course when you're on pregnancy number two, and I havn't really felt much guilt about it. But then last night I woke up at 3:30am, and was hit with my biggest wave of pregnancy guilt yet: I forgot to go for my glucose screening.

Oops. Big oops actually. Especially because this is apparently the second time i've forgotten. When I went for my well baby checkup last week, the nurse asked if i'd had my sugar test yet. I hadn't, and in fact didn't even know I was supposed to have done it yet. She said that my chart indicated the Dr called it in after my last appointment. A month ago. Ok, that one i'll let slide, could happen to anyone. No big deal. The Dr came in, and she also brought it up, mentioning that I could go right to the lab when I left if I had an hour. I certainly did have an hour, my mom was staying with Stephanie and i'm sure she would have had no problem staying longer. But...I knew Stephanie was in for a nap, and I was eager to get home and spend that precious hour in my apartment relaxing. I hate even writing that, because as anyone who has done the glucose test knows, you get to sit for an hour and...relax. There's a TV in the lab waiting room, and lots of magazines for me to read and catch up on all the celeb gossip i've missed out on over the past 17 months. Yet, I didn't go. I went home, because I just didn't feel like doing it then. Such a bad mommy. But I swore to myself i'd go the next day. I then proceeded to completely forget about the entire thing until last night.

I just lay there thinking, oh my gosh, I am the worst mommy to this poor little unborn baby. When I was pregnant with his sister I never once missed out on any blood work, procedure, or ultrasound. Since both the lab and the ultrasound office are attached to my Dr's office, I would head straight there after any appointment that mentioned I needed something done. I was on top of it all. Not this time. (It really pains me to say this, but this actually isn't the first time i've put off bloodwork this pregnancy. I was chastised at the beginning for failing to get the comprehensive blood draw that you need. But that time, once they reminded me I hadn't done it yet, I went right there. And proceeded to pass out, because I hadn't been prepared for blood work, had a raging head cold, and had eaten a microscopic breakfast. But that's another story.)

Of course, i'd love to tell you all that I resolved the problem today, and went right in for the glucose thing this morning. But I didn't. I resumed my nannying job yesterday, and needed to be there at 8:30 this morning. Tomorrow we have a scheduled playdate, and I have no child care option for Stephanie, so that's out too. Thursday is going to be the day, for real! It's on my calendar, and as soon as I finish writing this it's going in my phone, with a reminder set up. I will get this glucose test done, and i'm resolving to do a better job keeping up with things for this baby. Speaking of which, I was supposed to make an appointment for a 3D ultrasound yesterday. Oops again. Adding that into my phone too.

I really hope that my punishment for all these transgressions does not involve failing this glucose test and finding out I have gestational diabetes...

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Feeling pregnant

I havn't posted in over a week, and the only "excuse" I have is that i'm tired. That's all, just plain and simple, tired.

Over the course of the last two weeks or so, my body is announcing itself to me, saying "hello, you're pregnant." I feel it so much more than I have before. I feel big, heavy, and just...pregnant. It's a hard feeling to describe, but it's making me slow down, which I know is actually a good thing. But knowing and accepting are two different things.

I think the biggest problem with this tired, pregnant feeling is that it's taking away from the things that I so desperately wanted to accomplish. One of which is blogging by-weekly, a goal I set for myself and honestly thought was very do-able.

I've also slowed down on the cleaning schedule that I was so gung-ho about. I'm still sticking to it, but i'll put things off here and there, and do them another day. Or once in a while, just skip something completely. Which is fine, i'm not beating myself up over it. I just wanted to be "super wife/mommy" and get it all done with a big smile on my face. But the past week I just couldn't do that. And truthfully, it disappoints me that I can't keep up with it all.

I've also been slacking off in terms of being the preschool teacher/mommy I was attempting to be for Stephanie. You know, the one who schedules play-dates every week, goes to the playground almost daily, sets up water play outside several times a week, and plans crafts or educational games every day. Nope, hasn't been happening. We've been watching lots of Baby Einstein though...does that count?

I just hate feeling like this. I hate the lethargy, the lack of energy, the lack of desire to actually DO anything. I hate feeling disappointed in myself. Because I know i'm the only one who thinks i've been slacking. My mom tells me over and over again that I do too much and I need to slow down. Dan is happy with whatever I can accomplish, and never makes me feel like I should be doing more. Stephanie is just as happy banging some tupperware around, and doesn't realize she isn't being constantly stimulated. It's all me that's doing the judging.

I know that i'm pregnant, and that it's July, and HOT, humid, and muggy. So i'm trying to cut myself some slack. But i'm my biggest critic, and constantly beat myself up mentally for all these "wrong-doings." I'm hoping that by getting it all out in this blog post, i'll be able to relax about things a little, accept what I can do, and let go of the things that I can't. Here's hoping!
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