I had a baby check-up today, and found myself getting very sentimental as I walked through the halls of the medical building. As I headed towards the office, I was transported back to my 1st pregnancy, where the memories of walking these same halls are so vivid. I recalled the excitement and anxiety that a first pregnancy brings, and I was suddenly brought up short by the realization that this pregnancy is more than half over. More than HALF. How is that possible? It seemed like with Stephanie I was at that office time and time again. This time I feel like i'm hardly ever there, and my visits are in and out, done within 10 minutes. I guess it's probably because I have a bit of a "been there, done that" attitude, so I know exactly what each visit entails. I also don't have any questions, because my first pregnancy is so fresh in my mind. However, I feel a little sad about the fact that in less than 4 months (hear that Joseph? I don't expect you to be late!) the amazing miracle of pregnancy will be over, and I know that within a few months I will miss it.
I really do love being pregnant, and I wanted to use this pregnancy to truly embrace all that is happening in my body. With Stephanie I was so eager for her to get here that I mentally rushed everything. I was determined that for this one I would relish every moment, and savor all the feelings, emotions, baby kicks, and expanding belly that come along for the ride. But this time, instead of mentally rushing things, it really is flying by. And I wish it wouldn't. Not that I don't want my baby here, because I do. I want to cuddle, kiss, and hold him. I want to watch him grown and change seemingly overnight. But at the same time, I know that it will be a long time before I get pregnant again. (We want to wait 3 or 4 years) and so I want to stretch the feelings out for this one. I honestly don't think there's any way to truly "slow it down" but I think that I need to start taking a few moments every day to really relax, and meditate on the miracle of pregnancy. I need to be more "in the moment" with this baby, and I am making that my goal for the next 17.5 weeks!
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