There are no words

My Facebook friend, J., who I went to High School with, has spent the past few months celebrating her pregnancy via status updates and photos. As her due date approached, everyone was getting excited for her to finally deliver and meet her beautiful baby. Finally, it seemed, from other people's posts, that she had had her baby. And that's when the story turned tragic.

I ended up finding out that her beautiful little boy had been born, and stopped breathing almost immediately. He was on life-support in the NICU, and lived for only one week. Words cannot express how I felt when I found out. So many feelings ran through my body, and I sat at my computer sobbing, unable to calm myself down. I feel so much for this family, and cannot even fathom what they are going through right now. How do you live with that? How do you deal? How do you go home from the hospital, see the perfectly put together nursery and know that your baby will never come home?

Being pregnant with a little boy made this story hit home for me. I started to think, worry, and have anxiety about my little guy. I know that these are rare, but that anything can happen, and if it is meant to happen, it will. I am Catholic, and one of my core beliefs is that God has a plan for all of us, and never gives us anything we can't handle. But this has got to be one of life's greatest tragedies, and something I don't know if I could go through. I guess you never know how strong you are until something like this occurs. I'd rather not know.

I will continue to pray hard for this family, because i'm sure when the shock is over and reality hits, they are going to need all the support they can get. In the meantime, I will hug Stephanie extra close everyday, and be extra thankful for her health and safety. And everytime Joseph kicks, rolls, and somersaults in my belly I will say a little prayer thanking God for keeping him safe inside me.

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