I've spent the past few months doing a lot of thinking.
In general, I know that i'm a happy person. I know I have many blessings in my life, and i'm very grateful for those blessings. I have a loving family, a supportive husband, two healthy children, a beautiful home, and most of all I get to live my dream by staying home and raising my kids.
But I find myself acting unhappy. I snap at my children and husband too often. I sigh through my household chores. I find myself looking at the clock waiting for bedtime. Too often I think "I seriously have to prepare another meal for these kids?" And I don't like feeling like this.
In an effort to start acting happier, I re-read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. I love that book. I've also been reading blogs by other stay-at-home mom's. And I've come to the conclusion that, while i'm happy, i'm not content. And I want to be!
A big part of becoming content is changing my attitude and the way I think about and approach the job that I am here to do. I've been working hard (and I have a lot more work ahead of me!) to start being content, and I hope to share these things with you. Over the next few weeks I'll be writing about:
Training Myself Not To Yell
Developing A Daily Routine
Streamlining My Meal Plan and Grocery Shopping
Saying No To Outside Obligations
Living In The Moment
And more. I have a lot of ideas, a lot of plans, and I'm excited to start implementing them. I hope you'll follow along on my journey, and feel free to share any of the ways that you've found to be content and happy with the everyday aspects of your life.
Showing posts with label stay-at-home moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stay-at-home moms. Show all posts
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Summertime (Almost)
I've spent the past few months on a merry-go-round. At least, that's what it feels like. Life has just been go, go, go, go, go. And I don't like it. I want things to slow down. I want to enjoy my life, my kids, my husband. I want to live in the present instead of always thinking about what I need to do next. This is a constant battle for me, and one I've written about before. But right now I think it's achievable and I'm determined to slow life down just a little.
Stephanie's school ended last week, and our library story-time ended the week before. Dan's summer work is much more scheduled and routine than during the school year, so his comings and goings are more predictable. We have a lot of occasions and get-togethers and events planned, but our general day-to-day life is wide open. And I plan to take full advantage of it.
We are going to have slow mornings, with breakfast in our pjs. We'll have playdates, but not every day. We'll have times where we don't leave the house at all. We'll relax. We'll play outside. We'll eat dinner from the grill. If the house isn't spotless and the laundry is piled high, well it's summer. Who cares? I can't wait to play, to laugh, to read and splash and create with my kids. They are at such a fun age, and i'm determined to take advantage of our freedom from obligations! In fact, i'd be quite content if all of our summer days were spent like this:
Here's to a great summer!
*I know that not every day will be entirely fun, relaxing, and free from obligations. But if we can have even one day a week like that, i'll be happy. And I figure that if I state that it will happen, then i'm more apt to ensure that it does!
Stephanie's school ended last week, and our library story-time ended the week before. Dan's summer work is much more scheduled and routine than during the school year, so his comings and goings are more predictable. We have a lot of occasions and get-togethers and events planned, but our general day-to-day life is wide open. And I plan to take full advantage of it.
We are going to have slow mornings, with breakfast in our pjs. We'll have playdates, but not every day. We'll have times where we don't leave the house at all. We'll relax. We'll play outside. We'll eat dinner from the grill. If the house isn't spotless and the laundry is piled high, well it's summer. Who cares? I can't wait to play, to laugh, to read and splash and create with my kids. They are at such a fun age, and i'm determined to take advantage of our freedom from obligations! In fact, i'd be quite content if all of our summer days were spent like this:
*I know that not every day will be entirely fun, relaxing, and free from obligations. But if we can have even one day a week like that, i'll be happy. And I figure that if I state that it will happen, then i'm more apt to ensure that it does!
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Sick Days...
We've spent the past few weeks inside battling colds, ear infections, stomach bugs and flu-like viruses. One of the four of us has been sick every day since February 18th. I'm so sick of it! I've been the latest one afflicted, just as I thought my cold had gone away. On Friday night I started to not feel good, and I woke at 2am with chills, body aches, nausea and dizziness. I went to the Dr. yesterday and he said he thinks it's the flu, although the rapid flu test came back negative. That basically means I have a virus but since it's not technically THE flu, he can't give me any medicine. Is it spring yet???
Right now I'm pretty useless around the house, and feeling so grateful that my husband has stepped up to take over the child care while I rest andfeel sorry for myself recover. Up until I got hit with this round of sickness I'd been doing my best to keep everyone busy while one or both children needed to be kept indoors to get better.
This has been tough, because both the kids and I have a tough time being cooped up, and it's always worse when you don't feel good. It gets especially rough when the kids are starting to feel better but Dan and I feel sick. (We had colds at the same time. It was not fun.) Somehow we managed to keep ourselves busy with books, puzzles, games, and crafts. I have to offer a huge thank you to everyone who gave Stephanie busy gifts for her birthday. The board games and crafts were a huge help in keeping her occupied while she didn't feel good!
One of the things that Stephanie and I decided was that we needed to bring a hint of spring into our house. She thought it would be a great idea to do some spring crafts, so I decided to let her make a giant flower.
I cut a tulip shape out of yellow paper, handed her a bottle of glue and a bag of spring-colored pom-poms and it kept her busy for at least half an hour.
She insisted that the final product get hung on the wall. I think it came out pretty cute!
What do you do with your kids on rainy, snowy or sick days when you can't leave the house? I'm always looking for fun suggestions! Also, please send healthy vibes our way...
Right now I'm pretty useless around the house, and feeling so grateful that my husband has stepped up to take over the child care while I rest and
This has been tough, because both the kids and I have a tough time being cooped up, and it's always worse when you don't feel good. It gets especially rough when the kids are starting to feel better but Dan and I feel sick. (We had colds at the same time. It was not fun.) Somehow we managed to keep ourselves busy with books, puzzles, games, and crafts. I have to offer a huge thank you to everyone who gave Stephanie busy gifts for her birthday. The board games and crafts were a huge help in keeping her occupied while she didn't feel good!
One of the things that Stephanie and I decided was that we needed to bring a hint of spring into our house. She thought it would be a great idea to do some spring crafts, so I decided to let her make a giant flower.
I cut a tulip shape out of yellow paper, handed her a bottle of glue and a bag of spring-colored pom-poms and it kept her busy for at least half an hour.
She insisted that the final product get hung on the wall. I think it came out pretty cute!
What do you do with your kids on rainy, snowy or sick days when you can't leave the house? I'm always looking for fun suggestions! Also, please send healthy vibes our way...
Friday, January 4, 2013
Some Exciting News
I'm thrilled to announce that I am officially a contributor over at MoonFrye.com! The new website is absolutely gorgeous and I'm so honored to be included in their amazing team of writers. I'll be writing alongside two of my all time favorite bloggers, Jenny of Karma Continued and Katie of Practical Parenting. These women are my inspiration, and the fact that I'll be writing for the same website as them still seems surreal to me.
Many of you know that writing has always been a passion of mine, and having a career in writing was always my dream. But I chose a different path in life and have never looked back. However, this blog has afforded me the opportunity to do what I was born to do (stay home and raise my children) while still keeping a foot in the writing door. And now I have this new and amazing place to share my stories.
My first post hasn't gone live yet, but I am listed on the contributor page, which you can check out here: http://moonfrye.com/about/
(It's in alphabetical order by first name. I'm the Megan rocking the cool shades.)
I'll be sure to let you know when my first post goes up, and in the meantime I want to THANK all of you, my loyal readers for always being here to support me. It means the world to me and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it.
*An extra big thanks to Jenny who gave me theswift kick in the butt confidence I needed to tackle this new adventure.*
Many of you know that writing has always been a passion of mine, and having a career in writing was always my dream. But I chose a different path in life and have never looked back. However, this blog has afforded me the opportunity to do what I was born to do (stay home and raise my children) while still keeping a foot in the writing door. And now I have this new and amazing place to share my stories.
My first post hasn't gone live yet, but I am listed on the contributor page, which you can check out here: http://moonfrye.com/about/
(It's in alphabetical order by first name. I'm the Megan rocking the cool shades.)
I'll be sure to let you know when my first post goes up, and in the meantime I want to THANK all of you, my loyal readers for always being here to support me. It means the world to me and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it.
*An extra big thanks to Jenny who gave me the
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Week in My Life: Monday
I'm so excited to be participating in Week in My Life with Melissa at Adventuroo. All week I will be documenting, with pictures, what goes on in our day-to-day life. I'm also really looking forward to seeing what everyone else is up to! If you're interested in learning more about Week in my Life, hop on over to Adventuroo to read what it's all about.
Morning
5:45: Joseph woke for the day and had a cup of milk while Mommy had her first cup of coffee. We played with some toys, read some books, and I cleaned up the almost gone cup of coffee that J knocked over.
6:45: Stephanie woke up and had a cup of milk while watching Sesame Street. I poured a second cup of coffee.
7:30: Made breakfast for the kids (cut up fruit and cheerios) and myself (pumpkin spice swirl toast...yum!)
7:30: Cleaned up from breakfast and made chili for the crock-pot. Got dressed and put on makeup.
8:30: Woke up Dan (he's been staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning working, so he gets a pass at sleeping in.)
9:30: Errand time! We headed to the grocery store, the post-office and the library, with a Dunkin stop on the way home.
11:00: Home to put groceries away and make an early lunch.
11:30: Lunch and lunch clean up.
Afternoon
12:30: Time to read books and take naps!
1:30: I sat down to finish my re-heated Dunkin
2:00: Snuck into my room to take a picture of Stephanie. She naps in our bed, so that she and Joseph don't disrupt each other's naps. (They share a room.)
.
2:30: Woke both kids up so we could go to a Halloween party at my sister's house, with my niece and one of Stephanie's friends. They were still a little tired when I loaded them in the car...
Evening
5:15: Headed home.
5:45: Dinner! Chili & tortilla chips.
6:30: Dan gave the kids baths while I cleaned up the kitchen from dinner.
7:30 Both kids in bed, Dan off to a meeting, and a big glass of wine for the Mommy!
*In between all this fun, there were plenty of diaper changes, dishes being washed, bums being wiped after going to the potty, tantrums diffused, toys being picked up, spills being cleaned, questions being answered, noses being wiped, bumps & bruises being kissed, and FB & email checks on my phone. None of which seemed important enough to document with photos, but worth mentioning!
Morning
5:45: Joseph woke for the day and had a cup of milk while Mommy had her first cup of coffee. We played with some toys, read some books, and I cleaned up the almost gone cup of coffee that J knocked over.
6:45: Stephanie woke up and had a cup of milk while watching Sesame Street. I poured a second cup of coffee.
7:30: Cleaned up from breakfast and made chili for the crock-pot. Got dressed and put on makeup.
 |
| The early stages of the chili |
9:30: Errand time! We headed to the grocery store, the post-office and the library, with a Dunkin stop on the way home.
 |
| This is what the house looked like as we were getting ready to head out the door. I left it until we came home. |
11:00: Home to put groceries away and make an early lunch.
 |
| My mini grocery haul. Not much to buy since I did the bulk of my shopping at the beginning of the month! |
Afternoon
12:30: Time to read books and take naps!
1:30: I sat down to finish my re-heated Dunkin
2:00: Snuck into my room to take a picture of Stephanie. She naps in our bed, so that she and Joseph don't disrupt each other's naps. (They share a room.)
.
3:45: Snack time at the party!
Evening
5:15: Headed home.
5:45: Dinner! Chili & tortilla chips.
6:30: Dan gave the kids baths while I cleaned up the kitchen from dinner.
 |
| Post bath...trying to steal his sister's markers |
7:30 Both kids in bed, Dan off to a meeting, and a big glass of wine for the Mommy!
*In between all this fun, there were plenty of diaper changes, dishes being washed, bums being wiped after going to the potty, tantrums diffused, toys being picked up, spills being cleaned, questions being answered, noses being wiped, bumps & bruises being kissed, and FB & email checks on my phone. None of which seemed important enough to document with photos, but worth mentioning!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Being Happy At Home
Last week the Today Moms group on Facebook posted an article that I found very interesting. It says a recent Gallup survey shows that stay-at-home-moms are more depressed than working moms. They go on to say that the drudgery of at home life, combined with isolation and a lack of "feeling accomplished" cause sahm's to feel more sadness, anger, worry and depression. Working moms on the other hand, were more apt to report that they had feelings of happiness and enjoyment.
Reading the article caused me to feel a deep and profound sadness for those stay-at-moms who are suffering. I know first hand what staying home is like, and I can easily see how a mom might start to slide into depression. There is definitely an isolation factor involved, as well as a day-to-day drudgery that can really wear on some moms.
I count myself blessed to be a sahm who loves my career. That being said, as someone who is happy and content with my choice I think it's important to share some of the things that have made my life as a sahm the enjoyable experience that it is. I know it's not the right choice for everyone, but if you are a mom who stays home, you deserve to have it be a positive experience.
The most important thing I've learned from staying home is that not every day is going to be wonderful. It is so easy to feel guilty on those days when you don't get out of your jammies, the kids are whining, don't nap, the dishes and laundry are piled high, and it's been raining for 5 days straight. On those days, it's important to remember that nobody loves their job every single day. It doesn't make you a bad mother, it doesn't mean that you made the wrong choice, and it doesn't mean that you have failed in any way.
It does mean that you need to give yourself a break. When the chaos threatens to take over, figure out what you can do to help yourself relax. Maybe you need to check in with a friend or relative. Maybe you need to pop in a children's dvd and make yourself a cup of tea while the kids are occupied. Maybe you need to hand the little ones over to your husband when he comes home, and spend 10 minutes by yourself regrouping. Whatever it is, do it, and don't feel guilty. You need a mommy time-out every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with that!
I also find it important to stick to a routine. We're very flexible in my house, but there is a general structure to our days, especially in the mornings and evenings. It helps us all stay accountable to the tasks we need to accomplish.
I make sure to get dressed and put makeup on every single day. It helps me feel like a functioning human, and reminds me that even though i'm Mommy, i'm still Megan.
I plan an activity every day. Most days the activity takes place outside of our home. It might be a playdate, storytime, or simply a trip to the grocery store. Whatever it happens to be, it gets us out of the house, provides a change of scenery, and allows me to converse with other adults. If we have no plans, we go for a walk, or do special out-of-the-ordinary things at home. (Play-doh, baking, painting, etc.)
Utilize the social media world. My Facebook and Twitter friends have provided countless hours of support in my times of need. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or clueless there is someone out there I can turn to. I also text my friends and family throughout the day. It helps stave off those feelings of isolation that can creep in, especially when it's been raining for 5 days and the kids are all suffering from colds.
It's really important to remember the things you liked to do pre-children and make sure to incorporate them into your current life. I love drinking coffee or wine with friends. Once a month I go out with my mommy blogger friends, which helps me feel connected to other women, and free from the responsibilities of home.
We often have playdates scheduled around lunchtime, which allows me to chat with my friends while the kids are entertaining each other. Coffee is usually involved too. If we don't have plans, i'll make a trip to Dunkin Donuts and enjoy a piping hot cup of coffee made by somebody else. Just that small pleasure is enough to make me happy on a dreary day when i'm sleep deprived and feeling miserable. And a glass of wine at the end of a hectic day is one of my favorite ways to decompress.
I love reading and writing, so I make this blog a priority. I find time every day to catch up on a few of my favorite blogs, and read a few pages in a book. (I always have something I'm reading, although I admit that sometimes it's a parenting magazine instead of an actual book.) If there's something you love to do and are passionate about, you need to make sure you do it! I don't like hearing that there is no time. The laundry/dusting/vacuuming etc. can wait for a little while, because doing something for yourself each day is essential!
Lastly, make sure you have time with your spouse or partner. It doesn't have to be a date night, especially because those can be pricey and hard to arrange. Dan and I love our at home nights, where we order pizza when the kids go to bed and relax with a glass of wine and a slice. We've also been known to break out the scrabble board from time to time. (Yes, we are that awesome.) Keeping connected with your spouse is a way to share the ups and downs of your life at home with the kids, and having his support and understanding is crucial.
Staying home and raising my children is my biggest point of pride. I love knowing that i'm fulfilling my dream and doing what I've always wanted to do. I hope that there are moms out there that have found this helpful, because being a mom, whether working outside the home or not, is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job, and we all deserve to be happy and enjoy this time in our lives.
*If you think you are suffering from depression, please seek professional help. If you're feeling sad, weary, or just down, reach out to someone. If you need support, I am always willing to listen. I love hearing from new people, and you can find me on Twitter, Facebook, or by email.
Reading the article caused me to feel a deep and profound sadness for those stay-at-moms who are suffering. I know first hand what staying home is like, and I can easily see how a mom might start to slide into depression. There is definitely an isolation factor involved, as well as a day-to-day drudgery that can really wear on some moms.
I count myself blessed to be a sahm who loves my career. That being said, as someone who is happy and content with my choice I think it's important to share some of the things that have made my life as a sahm the enjoyable experience that it is. I know it's not the right choice for everyone, but if you are a mom who stays home, you deserve to have it be a positive experience.
The most important thing I've learned from staying home is that not every day is going to be wonderful. It is so easy to feel guilty on those days when you don't get out of your jammies, the kids are whining, don't nap, the dishes and laundry are piled high, and it's been raining for 5 days straight. On those days, it's important to remember that nobody loves their job every single day. It doesn't make you a bad mother, it doesn't mean that you made the wrong choice, and it doesn't mean that you have failed in any way.
It does mean that you need to give yourself a break. When the chaos threatens to take over, figure out what you can do to help yourself relax. Maybe you need to check in with a friend or relative. Maybe you need to pop in a children's dvd and make yourself a cup of tea while the kids are occupied. Maybe you need to hand the little ones over to your husband when he comes home, and spend 10 minutes by yourself regrouping. Whatever it is, do it, and don't feel guilty. You need a mommy time-out every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with that!
I also find it important to stick to a routine. We're very flexible in my house, but there is a general structure to our days, especially in the mornings and evenings. It helps us all stay accountable to the tasks we need to accomplish.
I make sure to get dressed and put makeup on every single day. It helps me feel like a functioning human, and reminds me that even though i'm Mommy, i'm still Megan.
I plan an activity every day. Most days the activity takes place outside of our home. It might be a playdate, storytime, or simply a trip to the grocery store. Whatever it happens to be, it gets us out of the house, provides a change of scenery, and allows me to converse with other adults. If we have no plans, we go for a walk, or do special out-of-the-ordinary things at home. (Play-doh, baking, painting, etc.)
Utilize the social media world. My Facebook and Twitter friends have provided countless hours of support in my times of need. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or clueless there is someone out there I can turn to. I also text my friends and family throughout the day. It helps stave off those feelings of isolation that can creep in, especially when it's been raining for 5 days and the kids are all suffering from colds.
It's really important to remember the things you liked to do pre-children and make sure to incorporate them into your current life. I love drinking coffee or wine with friends. Once a month I go out with my mommy blogger friends, which helps me feel connected to other women, and free from the responsibilities of home.
We often have playdates scheduled around lunchtime, which allows me to chat with my friends while the kids are entertaining each other. Coffee is usually involved too. If we don't have plans, i'll make a trip to Dunkin Donuts and enjoy a piping hot cup of coffee made by somebody else. Just that small pleasure is enough to make me happy on a dreary day when i'm sleep deprived and feeling miserable. And a glass of wine at the end of a hectic day is one of my favorite ways to decompress.
I love reading and writing, so I make this blog a priority. I find time every day to catch up on a few of my favorite blogs, and read a few pages in a book. (I always have something I'm reading, although I admit that sometimes it's a parenting magazine instead of an actual book.) If there's something you love to do and are passionate about, you need to make sure you do it! I don't like hearing that there is no time. The laundry/dusting/vacuuming etc. can wait for a little while, because doing something for yourself each day is essential!
Lastly, make sure you have time with your spouse or partner. It doesn't have to be a date night, especially because those can be pricey and hard to arrange. Dan and I love our at home nights, where we order pizza when the kids go to bed and relax with a glass of wine and a slice. We've also been known to break out the scrabble board from time to time. (Yes, we are that awesome.) Keeping connected with your spouse is a way to share the ups and downs of your life at home with the kids, and having his support and understanding is crucial.
Staying home and raising my children is my biggest point of pride. I love knowing that i'm fulfilling my dream and doing what I've always wanted to do. I hope that there are moms out there that have found this helpful, because being a mom, whether working outside the home or not, is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job, and we all deserve to be happy and enjoy this time in our lives.
*If you think you are suffering from depression, please seek professional help. If you're feeling sad, weary, or just down, reach out to someone. If you need support, I am always willing to listen. I love hearing from new people, and you can find me on Twitter, Facebook, or by email.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
We Stayed Home
*Before writing this post I want to send out a big congratulations to my best friend, who welcomed her second baby boy to the world on Sunday morning. I got to meet the adorable little munchkin yesterday, and it was so magical to witness the pride and joy in my friend's face.
Ok, back to the post.
I knew I was going to the hospital to visit with the new baby and his Mommy yesterday afternoon, so I made no morning plans. It was also raining outside, so I decided we would just spend time around the house. It was the first time in a long time that the kids and I didn't have any where to hurry off to, and that made our morning run much smoother than normal.
Instead of rushing through my coffee, I drank it leisurely while the kids played. Instead of inhaling my breakfast andgently coaxing nagging Stephanie to finish, we spent extra time enjoying our first meal of the day. Joseph got to take his morning nap in his crib instead of his car-seat. I folded and put away the loads of laundry that we washed over the weekend.
As the morning drew to a close, I took a minute to pause and think about how happy and content we all were. It was nice to just...stay home.
I also realized that I wouldn't want to do this every day. I enjoy our play-dates, trips to the park, story-time, errand running and appointments. It keeps us busy, provides socialization and new experiences for the children, prevents me from feeling like i'm going to climb the walls, and helps me implement structure and routine in our lives.
It also makes these slow times more special. I enjoy them and relish them instead of taking them for granted. They make me realize that it isn't good for any of us to rush around all the time. We need a break every now and then, and a morning like yesterday gives all of us the time and space we need to relax and re-charge our batteries. It also means my house is cleaner and more organized than it's been in weeks!
I knew I was going to the hospital to visit with the new baby and his Mommy yesterday afternoon, so I made no morning plans. It was also raining outside, so I decided we would just spend time around the house. It was the first time in a long time that the kids and I didn't have any where to hurry off to, and that made our morning run much smoother than normal.
Instead of rushing through my coffee, I drank it leisurely while the kids played. Instead of inhaling my breakfast and
As the morning drew to a close, I took a minute to pause and think about how happy and content we all were. It was nice to just...stay home.
I also realized that I wouldn't want to do this every day. I enjoy our play-dates, trips to the park, story-time, errand running and appointments. It keeps us busy, provides socialization and new experiences for the children, prevents me from feeling like i'm going to climb the walls, and helps me implement structure and routine in our lives.
It also makes these slow times more special. I enjoy them and relish them instead of taking them for granted. They make me realize that it isn't good for any of us to rush around all the time. We need a break every now and then, and a morning like yesterday gives all of us the time and space we need to relax and re-charge our batteries. It also means my house is cleaner and more organized than it's been in weeks!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I Don't Think It's Luck...
One of the things I hear from a lot of people is how lucky I am to be able to stay home and raise my children. Some people say it because they're envious of my job, some say it because they belittle my job, and others say it just to have something to say. No matter the reason, it's one of those phrases that rubs me the wrong way. Let me explain.
I consider myself very blessed to be a stay-at-home mom. But to say i'm lucky implies that the job fell in my lap without any thought or planning on my part. In fact, the opposite is true.
As I mentioned here, I've always known I wanted to stay home and raise my kids. It has always been something I valued, and when I met Dan, I discovered that it was important to him, too. Since we both felt the same way, we started working hard even before starting our family to ensure that we would be able to achieve this dream of ours. When we both had full-time jobs, we scrimped and saved so that we would have extra money for when I became pregnant and stopped working. Living this way has become a habit for us, and so being frugal isn't even something we really think about that much. We do our best to save money wherever possible, while still enjoying life and not giving up the things that are important to us.
Dan's job has always provided us with a place to live, and while it's not ideal, it's a sacrifice we've chosen to make so that we can afford to uphold our lifestyle with only one income. He also works long, unpredictable hours, which can get annoying and frustrating. But we put up with it, and work through it, because it's what we have to do. And so far, our hard work is paying off perfectly. I love staying home and raising our children, and Dan loves that he is able to provide for our family and enable us to live our dream.
I know most people don't mean anything when they say we're lucky. They're using it as another word for blessed, which we most definitely are. But I can't help wanting to explain to people that hey, we work very hard for this life we live! It isn't always easy, and sometimes it isn't fun and sometimes we struggle. But we make it work because it's what we feel is best for our family.
Are there any things that people say (probably harmlessly) that just rub you the wrong way? Please share!
I consider myself very blessed to be a stay-at-home mom. But to say i'm lucky implies that the job fell in my lap without any thought or planning on my part. In fact, the opposite is true.
As I mentioned here, I've always known I wanted to stay home and raise my kids. It has always been something I valued, and when I met Dan, I discovered that it was important to him, too. Since we both felt the same way, we started working hard even before starting our family to ensure that we would be able to achieve this dream of ours. When we both had full-time jobs, we scrimped and saved so that we would have extra money for when I became pregnant and stopped working. Living this way has become a habit for us, and so being frugal isn't even something we really think about that much. We do our best to save money wherever possible, while still enjoying life and not giving up the things that are important to us.
Dan's job has always provided us with a place to live, and while it's not ideal, it's a sacrifice we've chosen to make so that we can afford to uphold our lifestyle with only one income. He also works long, unpredictable hours, which can get annoying and frustrating. But we put up with it, and work through it, because it's what we have to do. And so far, our hard work is paying off perfectly. I love staying home and raising our children, and Dan loves that he is able to provide for our family and enable us to live our dream.
I know most people don't mean anything when they say we're lucky. They're using it as another word for blessed, which we most definitely are. But I can't help wanting to explain to people that hey, we work very hard for this life we live! It isn't always easy, and sometimes it isn't fun and sometimes we struggle. But we make it work because it's what we feel is best for our family.
Are there any things that people say (probably harmlessly) that just rub you the wrong way? Please share!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Random Post About Nothing
I feel like I've been neglecting my blog lately. It's been awhile since I've had that "I MUST write about this today!" flash. I haven't gotten that flash today, but figured I'd write anyway. Here are some of the things that have been going on lately.
-Dan has been working until 11pm every night for the past week and a half. The first few days I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. Dinner, bath & bedtime is the most challenging part of our day and I felt overwhelmed doing it all by myself. But after a few days, we all got used to it, and it's been going really smoothly. My kids are awesome and (for the most part) have taken pity on me and behaved well.
-Joseph started using his exersaucer. He wasn't thrilled with it at first, but now he loves it. It's position next to the TV helps too. This boy loves him some Baby Einstein.
-I bought Stephanie new sippy cups. I'm sure this seems like a weird and boring tidbit of news, but it's big in our house. We'd been using the Playtex sippys that require those little flexible plastic valves to be spill-proof. After using them for a year, most of those pieces got moldy and were thrown away. I can't seem to find replacements, and we were down to two of them. Which meant I was constantly washing the same two cups over and over throughout the day. Finally I said "enough!" and bought different cups. It's very freeing to know that I can just grab another sippy from the cupboard when she decides she wants milk instead of the juice and water that she already has.
-I took the kids out on a major shopping excursion all by myself yesterday. First we took a trip to Babies R' Us. I had some returns, and Joseph needed food. Then we met my sister and niece at a local toy store for a Dr. Seuss story-time. The woman who was supposed to read never showed up, but the girls had fun making crafts and running around the store. Then we all went to lunch at Panera. Afterwards my sister went home and I took my two little ones to Trader Joes, Children's Place, and Carters. They were both on their best behavior, and it felt nice to be out of our apartment for the day.
-I finally read Two Kisses for Maddy by Matt Logelin. I don't read his blog often, but I knew his story, and had been wanting to read the book for quite awhile now. His touching memoir on losing his beloved wife and having to raise their newborn daughter alone brought me to tears. I highly recommend it!
-Joseph still doesn't sleep at night, but he's been giving us 2 and 3 and sometimes even 4 hour stretches at a time, and it is so refreshing. I know it's pathetic that I feel so refreshed after such a small amount of sleep, but after a month and a half of waking every hour on the hour, any longer stretch feels like a full night's sleep.
-I'm slowing getting back on track with my weight loss. I've slowed down the snacking, upped the water intake, and do some ab work every day. Once Dan's work load slows down and he's home at night, I can start doing cardio again.
Ok, are you bored yet? If you've kept reading in the hopes that there would be something more interesting at the end of this post, i'm sorry to say, there is not. However, I will work on trying to find some inspiration!
-Dan has been working until 11pm every night for the past week and a half. The first few days I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. Dinner, bath & bedtime is the most challenging part of our day and I felt overwhelmed doing it all by myself. But after a few days, we all got used to it, and it's been going really smoothly. My kids are awesome and (for the most part) have taken pity on me and behaved well.
-Joseph started using his exersaucer. He wasn't thrilled with it at first, but now he loves it. It's position next to the TV helps too. This boy loves him some Baby Einstein.
-I bought Stephanie new sippy cups. I'm sure this seems like a weird and boring tidbit of news, but it's big in our house. We'd been using the Playtex sippys that require those little flexible plastic valves to be spill-proof. After using them for a year, most of those pieces got moldy and were thrown away. I can't seem to find replacements, and we were down to two of them. Which meant I was constantly washing the same two cups over and over throughout the day. Finally I said "enough!" and bought different cups. It's very freeing to know that I can just grab another sippy from the cupboard when she decides she wants milk instead of the juice and water that she already has.
-I took the kids out on a major shopping excursion all by myself yesterday. First we took a trip to Babies R' Us. I had some returns, and Joseph needed food. Then we met my sister and niece at a local toy store for a Dr. Seuss story-time. The woman who was supposed to read never showed up, but the girls had fun making crafts and running around the store. Then we all went to lunch at Panera. Afterwards my sister went home and I took my two little ones to Trader Joes, Children's Place, and Carters. They were both on their best behavior, and it felt nice to be out of our apartment for the day.
-I finally read Two Kisses for Maddy by Matt Logelin. I don't read his blog often, but I knew his story, and had been wanting to read the book for quite awhile now. His touching memoir on losing his beloved wife and having to raise their newborn daughter alone brought me to tears. I highly recommend it!
-Joseph still doesn't sleep at night, but he's been giving us 2 and 3 and sometimes even 4 hour stretches at a time, and it is so refreshing. I know it's pathetic that I feel so refreshed after such a small amount of sleep, but after a month and a half of waking every hour on the hour, any longer stretch feels like a full night's sleep.
-I'm slowing getting back on track with my weight loss. I've slowed down the snacking, upped the water intake, and do some ab work every day. Once Dan's work load slows down and he's home at night, I can start doing cardio again.
Ok, are you bored yet? If you've kept reading in the hopes that there would be something more interesting at the end of this post, i'm sorry to say, there is not. However, I will work on trying to find some inspiration!
Monday, January 30, 2012
A Pretty Typical Day
Here's a quick post regarding our night and morning. It went something like this:
11:30pm: Joseph wakes up
11:45: I get him back to sleep
2:45am: Joseph wakes again
3:00: Back to sleep
5:10: Awake again
6:00: Back to sleep
7:00: Awake for the day, he eats, burps, pukes all over both of us. I change our clothes, give him a bath, dress him...and he pukes. I clean him up again.
8:00: Stephanie wakes up. Find her, her bedding, and her stuffed frog covered in blood. She had a bloody nose in the night. Strip her bed, pre-treat the bedding, dress her, clean off her face, get her some breakfast.
9:30: My mom shows up to bring us to to Target, because I needed to fetch the wallet that I left at the register after paying yesterday. Which I hadn't realized I left until I got home at 9pm.
10:30: I spend more money at Target, even though I was just there last night.
11:30: We stop at Dunkin Donuts to feed the baby and get coffee (donut for Stephanie.)
12:30: Home again. Lunch, nap for Stephanie, a workout for mommy, and another feeding for Joseph.
3:00: Stephanie wakes up, has a snack, and we read books.
4:00: I decide I need to wash dishes and put away the three loads of clean laundry that have been sitting in my living room.
Now: Joseph is in the middle of an epic nap (yay!), Stephanie is playing, and i'm taking 5 minutes to write this post.
Just another day in my life. Happy Monday everyone!
11:30pm: Joseph wakes up
11:45: I get him back to sleep
2:45am: Joseph wakes again
3:00: Back to sleep
5:10: Awake again
6:00: Back to sleep
7:00: Awake for the day, he eats, burps, pukes all over both of us. I change our clothes, give him a bath, dress him...and he pukes. I clean him up again.
8:00: Stephanie wakes up. Find her, her bedding, and her stuffed frog covered in blood. She had a bloody nose in the night. Strip her bed, pre-treat the bedding, dress her, clean off her face, get her some breakfast.
9:30: My mom shows up to bring us to to Target, because I needed to fetch the wallet that I left at the register after paying yesterday. Which I hadn't realized I left until I got home at 9pm.
10:30: I spend more money at Target, even though I was just there last night.
11:30: We stop at Dunkin Donuts to feed the baby and get coffee (donut for Stephanie.)
12:30: Home again. Lunch, nap for Stephanie, a workout for mommy, and another feeding for Joseph.
3:00: Stephanie wakes up, has a snack, and we read books.
4:00: I decide I need to wash dishes and put away the three loads of clean laundry that have been sitting in my living room.
Now: Joseph is in the middle of an epic nap (yay!), Stephanie is playing, and i'm taking 5 minutes to write this post.
Just another day in my life. Happy Monday everyone!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Feeling Confident!
Yesterday was a great day. Since the clocks were switched back the night before, I expected it to be a long, never-ending, cranky kind of day. But I was happily surprised.
Since we had an extra hour, the morning didn't rush by in a haze the way it normally does. This meant we had enough time for everyone to get dressed, fed, and ready to go all before noon. Dan took Stephanie out to run a few errands, and Joseph was very accomodating during that time. He sat in his vibrating chair long enough for me to clean the bathroom, and then spent some time in his bassinet so I could do a few more things around the house. It felt great to see things looking clean-ish and uncluttered. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to me when there are clean clothes waiting to be folded, unmade beds, dishes in the sink, and toys all over the floor. It gives me anxiety, and I have been exerting a lot of energy just attempting to ignore the mess these past few weeks.
When I was finished picking up, I actually sat down and drank an entire cup of coffee while it was still hot. Joseph continued to be a happy baby for the rest of the day, and when Dan went out to do some more things by himself, both kids napped at the same time. It was quiet and peaceful, and I finally felt like hey, maybe I will be able to manage this when Dan goes back to work!
I know how spoiled I've been to have him home, and I appreciate having him around. But, I also feel like I've been depending on him to do so much around here, both for the house and with the kids. (Having a newborn that prefers being held in my arms all day to anything else means that I don't get a lot done.) But since yesterday was manageable, even with Dan gone for most of it, I felt my confidence level go way up. I finally felt in control of my house and my kids, and I know that I will be fine when it's just me and the kids at home all day.
Since we had an extra hour, the morning didn't rush by in a haze the way it normally does. This meant we had enough time for everyone to get dressed, fed, and ready to go all before noon. Dan took Stephanie out to run a few errands, and Joseph was very accomodating during that time. He sat in his vibrating chair long enough for me to clean the bathroom, and then spent some time in his bassinet so I could do a few more things around the house. It felt great to see things looking clean-ish and uncluttered. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to me when there are clean clothes waiting to be folded, unmade beds, dishes in the sink, and toys all over the floor. It gives me anxiety, and I have been exerting a lot of energy just attempting to ignore the mess these past few weeks.
When I was finished picking up, I actually sat down and drank an entire cup of coffee while it was still hot. Joseph continued to be a happy baby for the rest of the day, and when Dan went out to do some more things by himself, both kids napped at the same time. It was quiet and peaceful, and I finally felt like hey, maybe I will be able to manage this when Dan goes back to work!
I know how spoiled I've been to have him home, and I appreciate having him around. But, I also feel like I've been depending on him to do so much around here, both for the house and with the kids. (Having a newborn that prefers being held in my arms all day to anything else means that I don't get a lot done.) But since yesterday was manageable, even with Dan gone for most of it, I felt my confidence level go way up. I finally felt in control of my house and my kids, and I know that I will be fine when it's just me and the kids at home all day.
Friday, August 12, 2011
My Point of View
A facebook friend recently posted a link to a blog post where the woman discussed how blogging gives her the validation that stay-at-home moms crave. I completely related to this article, probably because i'm a stay-at-home mom, and a blogger. However, there was someone who criticized the author for not being sensitive to working mothers. This comment irked me, because in my opinion the author never mentioned working mothers, she wrote about how she feels as a stay-at-home mom. That is her perspective, so she gave her opinion based on the lens that she writes through.
As bloggers, we can only write what we know. Our thoughts, opinions, and tirades are filtered through our own experiences. We can't begin to know what it's like "on the other side." If I write about how hard my days at home are, and how much work I have to do, etc, etc., i'm not saying I have it harder than a working mother. I'm merely stating how i'm feeling at that moment, and what i'm going through. When a single mom writes about the difficulty she has when trying to deal with her sick child alone, she isn't claiming that married mothers have it easier. She's just writing about the unique challenges that come along with being a single mom. When this particular blogger stated that blogging gives stay-at-home moms validation in their jobs, she wasn't saying that other people choose to work out of the home just to get validation. She was simply saying that that part of her life had been missing, and blogging was a way to get it back. However, in all of these cases, there is always someone quick to chime in and berate the author for not being sensitive to people in the opposite position.
It is so hard for me to understand why these commenters do this. While disagreeing with the point of view of an author is acceptable, it's not ok for someone to tell anyone else that the way they feel is wrong. Bloggers don't write because they want to appease all of their readers. That would be an impossible job because we are all different, and all go through different experiences. It's great to find a blogger that you relate to, but even then there might be something that you disagree about, and there's nothing wrong with that! Even if two people went through the exact same experience, their thoughts, feelings, and way of dealing with it would be different. That's just the way the world works.
I'm sharing the link to the blog post, if anyone is interested. I personally do not see that it in any way puts down working mothers. But then again, that's because i'm reading it through the eyes of a stay-at-home mom. If anyone thinks differently, i'd love to get your opinion, so feel free to leave a comment!
http://www.mommypants.com/validation-its-the-new-blogging-black/
As bloggers, we can only write what we know. Our thoughts, opinions, and tirades are filtered through our own experiences. We can't begin to know what it's like "on the other side." If I write about how hard my days at home are, and how much work I have to do, etc, etc., i'm not saying I have it harder than a working mother. I'm merely stating how i'm feeling at that moment, and what i'm going through. When a single mom writes about the difficulty she has when trying to deal with her sick child alone, she isn't claiming that married mothers have it easier. She's just writing about the unique challenges that come along with being a single mom. When this particular blogger stated that blogging gives stay-at-home moms validation in their jobs, she wasn't saying that other people choose to work out of the home just to get validation. She was simply saying that that part of her life had been missing, and blogging was a way to get it back. However, in all of these cases, there is always someone quick to chime in and berate the author for not being sensitive to people in the opposite position.
It is so hard for me to understand why these commenters do this. While disagreeing with the point of view of an author is acceptable, it's not ok for someone to tell anyone else that the way they feel is wrong. Bloggers don't write because they want to appease all of their readers. That would be an impossible job because we are all different, and all go through different experiences. It's great to find a blogger that you relate to, but even then there might be something that you disagree about, and there's nothing wrong with that! Even if two people went through the exact same experience, their thoughts, feelings, and way of dealing with it would be different. That's just the way the world works.
I'm sharing the link to the blog post, if anyone is interested. I personally do not see that it in any way puts down working mothers. But then again, that's because i'm reading it through the eyes of a stay-at-home mom. If anyone thinks differently, i'd love to get your opinion, so feel free to leave a comment!
http://www.mommypants.com/validation-its-the-new-blogging-black/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
